That He May be Glorified in Us...(Confessions)
by Michelle Amirault
Many of you may be wondering how the meeting in Ohio went in July. This will be a brief attempt to summarize the four gathering times. Friday evening, before we really got into the flow of this first meeting, we changed form and moved the chairs from rows into a big circle. This was in itself not important except for the fact that two of us "felt" that this was the Father's heart for us. We therefore began by submitting to His direction, for our purpose was to gather together in Him. Hardly any of us knew each other and so I was glad for this initial flow of unity. The format of waiting on the Holy Spirit and sharing only what and as He directed was clarified by Norman Lawrence, who with his wife, Sharlene, and Glen and Barbara Bailey, make up Love Covenant Ministries. These four precious people were the hosts of all who attended. They fed us all delicious food both physically and spiritually, gave us all a place to sleep, and were just all-around generous to us. There was so much love there, we know they are appropriately called Love Covenant.
The main topic Gary addressed was the robes we all put on that cover the glory of the one white robe that Jesus has given us. The purpose in pointing these out was too allow each of us to allow the Holy Spirit to reveal to us any coverings we needed to have removed, that He might truly shine forth. Some of the clothing we wear that covers the white robe from Jesus includes traditionalism, religiousness, (our doctrines and teachings,) patriotism or nationalism, bitterness, unforgiveness, self pity, self righteousness, complacency, ...etc. Any of these and other things we have within our thinking, can cover or blind us to the LOVE of GOD for us and for those in our lives. Gary had hoped that a deep washing would occur and we, as a small body, could come into a glorious place of worship together by Sunday morning. 'Though this did not happen for all as hoped, I found that during the playing of the music sung on tape by our new friend, Kathy Bray, I heard from God in a mighty way. It was very humbling, but very necessary. (You may want to individually pray and ask our Father if you have any of these coverings on you.)
Our Father corrects His children, as we all should know by now, and what He showed me was surprising at first. While listening to the music, I first noted the beauty of the Life of Christ in the heart of Kathy's voice and words. Then I noticed how even a correct teaching on the tabernacles, which I had learned years ago, was actually frustrating my hearing the heart of a song she was singing. I will share the particulars only as an example, to model the point that we need to not be so literal as we listen. It is more important to hear the Spirit of what is being said --- to discern correctly. Many of you know that the tabernacle of Moses is made up of the outer court, the Holy place, and the Holy of Holies or Most Holy Place. In this particular song, the words "Holy Place" were sung and yet, I could see they were actually referring to the Most Holy Place. The Most Holy Place is symbolic of the closeness I desire to have with our Father, for it is behind the rent veil where His fullness of Love and Mercy reign. This correction, though minor, was important to me. It confirmed to me what Gary said about even our teachings and doctrines covering over the heart of God. So I began to get excited as I felt the Spirit of the Lord was revealing the validity of what was being taught, and I felt myself draw closer to the Father with a joy and anticipation I love having. We were communing.
Then I heard something precious about Lawrence's young son and it made me so happy. Because of the quiet, but informalness of the gathering, as quietly as possible, I slipped over to privately tell this young man what the Father said about him. I noticed that the motive of my heart was to encourage him, but I did not notice that the Spirit of God did not send me. When I came back to my seat all delighted to have delivered such a precious message to a precious young person, there was a different song playing.
I sensed some of the intimacy that I previously enjoyed with the Spirit had lifted, but I sang along anyway as the words were, "I love to love You, O Lord My God. I love to love YOU!" Then came the BONG ON THE HEAD, as I heard the Spirit say to me, "NO, YOU DON'T." I couldn't believe what I heard. I felt like Peter must have when Jesus questioned his love. I felt so terrible, and said, "You know I love You Lord, I have given my life to You. What do You think I'm doing at this meeting? Surely I love You." But the "NO, YOU DON'T" just hung in the heavens for me to deal with. So finally I asked God, "What do you mean I don't love You?" As I questioned Him I knew in my heart that, like Peter, I had great affection for the Lord, but He wants it to become His agape type love, and it was far from that. Then came more understanding as I heard audibly again, "You run the other way. . . and get busy for Me. Come to Me and stay." As I was about to ask for an example, the most recent one came flooding in before I could form the question. Yes, as I just shared with you, I ran to tell the young boy what God showed me because I wanted to encourage him in the Lord. The thought that his relationship with the Father is probably more intimate than my own, and that he already knew that he was called, did not occur to me. So my dear brothers and sisters, I tell you all this to let it be a lesson for any who may be like me, QUICK TO WONDER AWAY FROM THE VERY THING WE LONG FOR--- INTIMACY WITH GOD.
Oh, there is more to this story. I asked God, "What keeps me from coming closer?" I sensed or heard an answer; it was "FEAR OF MAN." This puzzled me as I did not yet see how that could relate to running away from intimacy with God. I did not think that I was afraid of people. Had I not learned that I was a people-pleaser, and did I not think that I was stripped of that? Without going into all the long details of how I discovered what He meant, let me simply say, the Holy Spirit made it clear that, as we all can, I tend to think I need the appreciation or/and the approval of men. In more clear words this is SELF-GLORY seeking. YUCK! And OUCH! Yep, I was being chastised, corrected and awakened to what in me was blocking or covering the very Love of God I long to flow in.
With all that was exposed to me by Saturday evening, it was awesome to me that on Sunday, Gary, unaware of all I was going through, preached on 'how we, in our vain desires to be used or do things for God, can rob His glory-- He preached or taught on the robe of Self Glory.' Rub it in, Father, so I learn it well. I had already begun to deeply be changed and AS THE MORNING PROGRESSED, I felt the closest, sweetest love not only for God, but also for every person there. This love was beyond any words or experience I know. It was not my own, it was the Father's glorious love! GLORY TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST!
At the end of the gathering, we all stood in a circle, holding hands and prayed together for various things. These priceless people also prayed for Gary and me. When it was time to leave, I did not want to go. I felt a bond of love so strong, that even as we let our hands drop and stepped backwards, expanding the circle, I could feel the love also expand and expand, keeping us connected, if you can somehow picture this. It was a LOVE BRIDGE in the Spirit, binding us together and to God. Is this not the work of the HOLY SPIRIT? I for one can now more easily tell the difference between my love and His. Having His Love flow to us and through us is worth the stripping, the fire and anything or everything else we have to go through because we knowingly and unknowingly hold back from being consumed fully by His awesome love. All we need is His robe of His love, His righteousness, and His glory. When He is all that shines forth, we are hidden in His glory and caught up with Him in Him...
Growing in Him from Glory to Glory,